Forgive me, Uncle Sam, for I have sinned.
It has been over a decade since the last time I was forced to go to confession.
I have a confession to make, Uncle Sam: I’m a liberal. But before you sentence me to hell, I’m not a hippie or a hipster. I don’t chain myself to trees or own a Velcro wallet. I don’t pour red paint on fur or eat veggie burgers or drink PBR.
I do, however, believe in helping the needy.
I do not believe that welfare and unemployment benefits should be accepted by bars and restaurants and other frivolous businesses.
I believe that reading books and attending a liberal arts college does not make me an elitist, it makes me educated.
I believe that reading about all religions, not just the one thrust upon me, makes me a moral, good person.
I believe that the color of your skin, the genitals on your body and the sexual preferences and kinks you enjoy do not define you.
I believe that a man who believes he deserves seven wives doesn’t have the right to tell a man he isn’t allowed to have a husband.
I believe that a man has no right to tell a woman what she can or cannot do with her body.
I believe that science should dictate medical laws, not religion. Medicine is a science. Religion is not.
I believe that as long as my taxes go to helping the poor, the uninsured, the schools and the infrastructure of this country I do not mind paying them.
I believe that war is wrong and that imposing our views and values, no matter how good we think they are, onto people of other nations and cultures is dead evil and should not be covered by those same taxes.
I believe in apple pie and ears of corn just as much as you do.
I believe you have the right to go to church on Sunday just as much as I have the right to sleep in.
I do not believe you are evil for going to church, so please stop thinking I’m evil for staying home.
I believe that Donald Trump withholding $5 million from charities just because he doesn’t like Obama is wrong.
I believe that the majority is not always correct.
I believe that blocking every bill supported by the President and then complaining that he gets nothing done is childish.
I believe that not working with others in Congress means you should go back to kindergarten and learn that skill all over again.
I do not believe that disagreeing with me makes you an evil person.
I believe that restricting rights from only certain groups of people makes you an evil person.
I do not camp out on the steps of Wall Street.
I do use a Credit Union.
I believe rape is rape. I believe it is the most evil thing one human being can do to another. I believe it is worse than homicide. I believe there is no such thing as legitimate rape, as all rape is legit. I do not believe there are different levels of rape.
I believe rapists deserve exponentially more jail time than they get.
I do not believe in the death penalty.
I also do not believe in death panels.
I do not believe that hand-cuffing a president allows you to mock him for a lack of production.
I do not believe that manipulating and using young men as soldiers allows you to forget them when their term is over.
I do not believe progress is an evil word.
I do not believe that all speech is covered by the first amendment. Hate speech is actually specifically not covered by that amendment. Using the words “retard” (Ann Coulter) or “fag” (Christian extremists) or “nigger”, “chink”, “wet-back”, etc. (racists) is violating far more than just an amendment.
I do not believe that being a liberal makes me a bad person. It does not make me elitist. It does not make me yellow-bellied. If it makes me different than you, then so be it. That does not make either of us better than the other.
It does not give you the right to turn your nose at me. It does not give you the right to throw childish temper tantrums. It does not give you the right to hate.
Uncle Sam, I am a liberal.
But I’m not here for confession.
I’m not sorry for who I am.